I have something pretty chilled, pretty awesome that I want to share with you today.
I’m going to show you exactly how to move forward and what are the next steps that you ought to take and how to be in true alignment so that the rest of the year becomes truly magical for you.
As my business has grown at crazy heights and this year and at the end of last year we’re doing 6- figures per month (Link this to this blog when it’s ready: How To Make 6 FIGURES In 2021 (No Fluff Step by Step Guide) as much as it has grown to that crazy level, a lot has happened in my personal life that I’m not ready to unleash just yet, one day I’ll probably talk about it.
A lot has happened and I find myself constantly having to make a decision to really go forward, to move forward in spite of some of the pain that I have experienced in my private life.
You might be that person, a lot of curveballs might have been thrown at you, so I want to share with you some of the strategies that will really help you to move forward.
Here’s a glance at this episode…
- [02:41] Life Will Throw You Curveballs
- [05:59] Make a list of the things that you want to change
- [07:54] Create a Vision
- [11:51] Take steps towards your dream life
- [14:19] Work on your Mindset daily
- [17:17] Take Responsibility for your Struggles
- [21:15] Stop stressing about the things that you cannot control
- [24:20] Protect your Energy
- [25:30] Treat yourself like a Valuable Investment
#1: Life Will Throw You Curveballs
Life will throw you some curveballs you’ve got to accept.
You just got to know it’s not personal, it happens to everybody.
It just happens to us all at different times and in different ways.
Sometimes you don’t even know what your neighbour is going through, you don’t even know what your friend is going through or another family member, we look at other people’s lives and we tend to think that it’s all perfect and it’s all normal but the truth is that most of the time it actually isn’t.
Because we all have our own idea of what perfection looks like and nobody is ever really at perfection even people who are really wealthy, who appear to have everything that they want
They still don’t have the perfect life in their own eyes.
In our eyes, they might do or rather in your eyes but in their own lives, they don’t.
Life will throw you some curveballs.
I’ll give you an example…
When I first came out of drama school I started acting, I had lead roles, really good roles and some really great things to look forward to in my acting career.
I came out of drama school came out with an agent and jumped into my very first role Playing the lead character in the theatre production at the National Theatre, London I was invited to go on tour on broadway.
I had all of these things going for me and that was the trajectory of my life.
You might be thinking:
“Pam how did you then transition to being in business and to doing what you are doing right now” Well, it was because, in the middle of that, life did throw me a curveball.
One that I never saw coming.
At that time I was pregnant and unfortunately, I had a stillbirth. That means that I lost my baby at birth.
My very first child.
I don’t know how to explain this.
Life hit me in so many ways at that time. I went into a very deep depression and for years I have kind of dipped in and out and dipped in and out just because of that trauma and that pain.
I find that the older I get the more I accept that life will throw you some things that you never expected.
I’m not asking you to embrace it because I don’t want to embrace the pain.
But really, the more that I accept that pain is a part of this world, and that I make a decision to move forward with my life and to create new goals…
Look where I am right now. I never thought I would be doing business. I didn’t even have a desire to be in the business.
But when life gives you lemons you make lemonade, you do something with it. The one thing you do not want to do is to stay still or just to stay stuck.
You move forward.
Sometimes your new normal might not look like what you are used to and sometimes it might look like a very different life to which you never even imagined but you’ve just got to move forward.
I promise you that if you do, something amazing will be waiting for you on the other end just like it has happened to me.
So life will throw you some curveballs, just go with the flow and create a whole new normal.
Life is amazing.
It is truly beautiful.
Just go with the flow.
#2: Make a list of the things that you want to change
Do you know that a lot of people don’t actually audit their happiness?
That means looking at your surroundings, looking at your life, looking at everything that you have and just identifying what are the key areas that you want to change.
If you could wave a magic wand what would you change in your life?
That’s within your power.
So write things on the list like you want to change the colour of your skin or you want to change your height or you want to change you know something that is almost impossible, it’s not impossible, but it’s just too far-fetched.
Look at the things you are unhappy with.
Your home – why are you unhappy with your bedroom?Are you unhappy with the car that you drive?
- Are you unhappy with the clothes that you wear?
- Are you unhappy with the behaviour of your children?
- Are you unhappy with your job?
- Are you unhappy with your business?
These are key areas that you can do something about.
In order to make this the best year for you you’ve got to make that list because it is from that list that you get to then create a strategy for each thing because if you cannot identify what needs changing you won’t be able to take the steps to make that change to happen.
This is where people go around in circles and go around in depression and in unhappiness and surely what they haven’t done is they haven’t done step two which is auditing their happiness.
So right now just pick up a notepad and a pen and write down a list.
What are some of the key things that you would like to see a change in your life that you know that you have the power to change?
Whether you have the power to change it, sometimes we may need to employ somebody to help us.
You may need to invest in areas to support you with that change but it doesn’t matter whether somebody has the ability to change this thing.
So begin by writing down that list.
#3: Create a Vision
#3 is to create a vision for what that ‘best life’ looks like.
That life that you want to create.
What does that life even look like?
You’ve got to create a vision.
It’s one thing to create a list of the things you’d like to change but you now need to create a vision, not just a list but a vision of the life that you want.
I’ll give you a quick example…
When my husband and I first got married we were renting a house. It was a pretty big house. We couldn’t even afford the rent so we knew we needed to move.
But we didn’t want to move from rent to rent, we wanted to buy our own home but we couldn’t afford the house.
Then we created a vision.
I wrote it down on a piece of paper and I actually framed it, everything that I wanted.
This house has to have X amount of bedrooms, the type of garden that I wanted it to have, where I wanted to be.
So I wrote down that vision, my husband and I got together, we prayed about it together and we then started to go online and to look for this house, what does this vision look like?
One of my favourite books in the world and you might know what that book is it says to “write the vision and make it plain so that he who sees it can run with it” Habakkuk 2:2
What does that mean?
It means that you’ve got to have that vision of what you want.
Write it down.
Create a picture of that thing.
Make it really plain so that when you see it or whoever sees it they can catch on to that vision and they can run with it.
That’s exactly what we did.
How We Put This In Action
We wrote down a picture of that vision, we found the property and then every single week or every Sunday after church, we would drive down to the road of that property and we would just park there and just stare at it.
It was the perfect place to raise children, and so we did that.
Every single week in between being turned down for a mortgage, in between being refused at planning permission We got turned down for a mortgage over and over and over again but because we had that vision we knew this is the property that we wanted to have.
We couldn’t afford it but we knew this was the vision.
It helped us to act in a certain way.
We started to act like people who owned that house, people who did have a mortgage and then guess what happened?
We eventually bought the house.
When we bought the property we did this again, we wrote down the vision again.
We said we didn’t want to be in debt, we didn’t want to owe the bank for this mortgage, because we had a very high mortgage, because we couldn’t afford the house in the first place.
The bank was taking a risk so the repayments were really high and so my husband and I broke down the vision.
We had an agreement between us and we said we would become mortgage-free within 10 years.
Every single year we talked about this.
Sometimes we talked about this every single month, sometimes every single day I’d walk around my house and I would say…
“Yes thank you lord for my mortgage-free house”
“Thank you that I no longer have to pay the mortgage”
“I don’t have to pay anybody for this house”
“Thank you for my amazing bedroom, for my amazing bathroom, for my amazingness”
I would just call things like that not as though.
I would walk around like I truly owned the house because did you know that unless you are mortgage-free you don’t actually own the house?
No, you are in debt to the bank, the bank owes the house.
So I would walk around and really look after the house and treat it like I owned it.
Eight years after as of last year we became mortgage-free.
Not only did we get the house but we paid it off in a record time, in our early 30’s.
If we didn’t have that vision we wouldn’t have done it.
RELATED: HOW MILLENNIAL MUM OF 2 PAID OFF MORTGAGE EARLY IN 8 YEARS! (Please link to this blog when ready: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1v5KbR6XfOF7S_NfIWA91FA9fOKNxF7k6dwZTZV6o2wI/edit )
If we didn’t have that vision I wouldn’t have put in the steps that helped us to truly become debt-free and mortgage-free at a very, very young age.
So you have to write that vision, build that vision, ride that vision, soak in that vision and become that vision and I promise you that when you do that and you do it over and over again and never let go of that vision it becomes a reality.
#4: Take steps towards your dream life
You’ve got to take steps towards it.
You’ve got to do what is required to create to manifest that dream life.
So if you want a brand new car, take the car that you have right now and start keeping it clean Start treating it like the car that you want!
If you want a Porsche, if you want a Bentley, whatever type of car that you want, treat it like you would if you invested 100k in your dream car even if your current car is a banger.
Or perhaps you don’t even have a car, perhaps you have a bicycle, perhaps you have no wheels and you are just walking
..as you are walking, envision yourself driving that beautiful car.
What does it feel like, what does the leather or rather the interior look like, what does it feel, like what are some of the features inside this car.
- You’ve got to breathe it.
- You’ve got to see it.
- You’ve got to live.
- You’ve got to truly experience it.
That’s one of the things that I did in our current home.
Even though we became mortgage-free we knew that we truly needed to to enlarge our territory.
We wanted to move to a bigger house but we didn’t really have the funds to move to the type of big house that I really, really wanted.
That’s in my vision.
What we did this year is we decided to extend our home.
We decided to bring some of that vision and to bring it into the current home that we have right now.
This was our way of manifesting a part of the dream for today.
Whatever it is that you dream you’ve got to take steps into making it happen .
You’ve got to manifest this thing because if you can see it in here and you can see it through your eyes, you can achieve.
If you cannot even fathom what that feels like in your mind I can promise you that nothing will make that thing come true for you because you didn’t actually fathom you didn’t create it.
Think about it…
Everything in this world was first created in somebody’s mind.
Every high-rise building that you see, every railway that you see, every train that you see, the mobile phone in my hand everything, that chair that you are sitting on right now, the ground that you are walking on right now, the door that you opened to access your fridge…
Everything was first conceived in somebody’s mind.
Your mind is just as powerful. All you’ve got to do is figure out what it is that you want to create and focus on manifesting that thing and taking the steps to make that a reality.
#5: Work on your Mindset daily
There’s one of the things that I have noticed about truly trying to build the life that you want and it is that everything is going to come against you.
The moment you start you want to up-level yourself in your career you’re going to start having a problem with your current job.
The moment you want to up-level your income in your business you’re going to find that the sales are not coming through or something is going to happen to really rub you up the wrong way, to make you feel like whatever it is that you are trying to achieve, like it’s not going to happen.
For that reason you must, must, must work on your mindset every single day.
The only war that you have it’s not world war three it’s not world war one or two those are certainly not world war three it’s the war in your mind.
It’s the war between your two ears.
It’s what’s going on in your mind.
That voice that tells you that you cannot achieve what it is that you want to achieve.
It’s a war you’ve got to go to every single day on your mind because the mind essentially filters your brain, filters what it is that you tell it to filter.
So if you in your mind, or with your words, if you are speaking words of defeat if you’re currently saying:
“I’ll never be a success”
“My business will never take off” or
“ I’ll never get into the career of my dreams” If that is the trajectory that you want for your life or “I’ll never have children”
If you are constantly speaking those words I promise you that your brain is going to go…
“Oh hold on a minute did you say you never have children, okay that’s fine” Guess what, you’re never going to have children.
If you’re constantly saying:
“I’ll never make any money” or “This business will never take off”
“This offer will never fly”
Your brain goes:
“Oh this offer will never fly, okay, that’s right I’m going to do everything to prove you right”
That is the job of your brain.
Its job is to prove you right.
Everything that you feed into it it’s going to regurgitate for you times a million.
So doesn’t it make sense that you are careful what you feed your mind?
Go to town and work in your mind every single day so that you’re feeding it good stuff, you’re feeding it the things that you want it to regulate back to you so that those things those good seeds become your reality.
Doesn’t that make sense?
Well, that’s not something that you do once a week or once a month.
That’s something you do every day.
Every single day go to work on your mind.
Read books, speak to the right people, surround yourself with the right people, go to town on your mind, speak positivity to yourself.
I am my own biggest cheerleader.
I don’t wait for anybody to give me a pat on the back.
I am completely in love with Pam.
I’m in love with myself and you’ve got to fall in love with yourself.
Fall in love with your future and go to town on your mind every single day because it is true in your mind that you begin to manifest that dream life, that best life that you hope to have by the end of this year.
It is your mind that will manifest that for you.
#6: Take Responsibility for your Struggles
What does that mean?
A lot of people love to blame other people for where they are right now but the truth of the matter is that where you are right now, you write your success on lack of it as a result of your own actions.
It is your responsibility.
If you are depressed right now it is because of your own actions.
If you are happy right now it is because of your own actions.
One of the things that truly has helped me on my journey is taking responsibility for my own struggles.
What does that mean?
It means that if I struggle with, if I feel down, which I do sometimes, I’m a human being, if I struggle with depression I’ve taken responsibility.
I know what my triggers are.So I have sat down and I have thought to myself :
“Pam, what are the triggers, what are the things that cause you to be depressed or to lower you in your attitude, in your behaviour, in mental state, what are those triggers?”
I have sat down and tried my best to discover what those triggers are and then I have put things in place to avoid them.
One of the things that I do for myself is I have a rule that I call a friend every single day.
That’s right, every single day I pick up my phone and I phone a friend.
These are people who I trust, these are people who understand my past, these are people who understand some of the things I have been through, these are people who support me.
I don’t call them and talk about what I’m struggling with, no I call them just to say hello.
The reason this works well is that every single one of us, we live in our bubble, you live in your bubble, I live in my bubble and in your bubble that is your comfort zone but just because it is your comfort zone doesn’t mean that it’s good for you to do.
You see what I’m trying to say.
So in your bubble, everything in your mind is right in your bubble, you cannot see depression for what it is in your bubble, you cannot see negativity for what it is in your bubble.
Everything is correct.
That means if you’re feeling down oh it’s good to feel down, it’s okay to feel down, it’s justified if you can create something, create a launch and it doesn’t work it’s justified because in your bubble everything is right.
Now the only way to break out of your bubble is to break out and get into somebody else’s bubble.
To get into somebody else’s world and attach yourself with what’s going on in their world.
Otherwise you’re in your headspace and you remain in your bubble, in your own world and you’re spiralling, you’re going deeper and deeper into a bad spiral and you won’t even realize why because you are in your bubble.
Do you see that?
The way that I break out of my bubble is every single day I phone a friend .
So every time I phone a friend I get into their world, I get into their bubble, finding out what is going on with your day, what’s happening and we laugh, we joke, we talk about nonsense.
It’s okay outside of your bubble but the main thing is that you get outside of your bubble and you get out of your own head that’s one of the things that I do.
Another thing that I do that truly helps is I go for a walk every single day.
I’m really blessed that my Studio is only a few minutes from home so I can actually walk there.
That really helps me to just take in the fresh air, listening to some music or something that motivates me or something that again takes me out of my own head and out of my own bubble and I go into a whole different world and that helps me.
But the bottom line is you’ve got to take responsibility for your struggles.
You’ve got to understand what your struggles are and you’ve got to create a plan.
Put some sort of plan in place to truly help you to overcome them every single day.
#7: Stop stressing about the things that you cannot control
Did you know that the majority of the things that we worry about are actually things that are out of your control?
Did you know that if you want to have this year be your best year you’ve got to stop stressing about the things that you cannot control?
Now, granted, it’s hard to even struggle with this one but I always remind myself…
“Pam, is it in your control? No! Then you’ve got to find a way to move on”
I’ll give you an example:
Earlier I Mentioned that we decided to extend our home.
At this time we are actually in the middle of our extension.
When we first moved into our home one of the things we did invest in was really good flooring.
Really good, solid, wood flooring for our home.
What we didn’t realize is that the people who laid it, laid it the wrong way so it’s actually facing the wrong way.
We didn’t know this.
Now that we built the extension, our new builders said to us:
“Your wood flooring is facing the wrong way it needs to face long ways as opposed to going across”
and so we said:
“Yeah brilliant, it’s real wood take it up turn it the right way, lay back and then we will just buy more wood to make up the difference for the new part of the house, the extension”
This was great, my husband and I worked out how much this is and we made a plan to purchase this then one day our builders took up the wood and then they came to us and said:
“No actually you can’t reuse this”
This was the beautiful wooden flooring that we spent an arm and a leg on and we said…
“Because the people who laid the wood the first time actually glued it down”
This means that when they pull it up it’s actually destroyed.
Oh my God, I was so annoyed!
I was so frustrated because if you know anything about building a house or doing an extension whatever your builders tell you it’s going to cost, just double that .
This was just another expense that we did not budget and we don’t just have money to buy us a new floor, we didn’t have that just sitting there.
Obviously, we had the money but it wasn’t budgeted for this.
I was really, really annoyed for ages and I would look outside my window, look at the skip and see all the wood just sitting there.
Good solid wood.
But it’s useless because it was glued down.
So we couldn’t use it and I had to forget it.
We decided we’re going to invest again but this time it cost us like four times as much because prices have gone up.
We needed wood for a much larger space of the house now because of the extension.
But anyway it was something that was out of our control.
Talking about it, worrying about it and stressing about it is not gonna bring it back so we just had to let go and just pay for it, the new wood and just relay the wood the right way, this time without the glue.
There are gonna be things that are out of your control, my darling.
You’ve gotta be willing to let go.
Just let go and just move forward.
#8: Protect your Energy
What does that mean?
It means that you’ve got to learn to surround yourself with people who have the right type of energy that you want to emulate.
People who are on a higher vibration than yourself.
People who are more successful than yourself.
You are the average of the five people that you hang around with or talk to the most.
Did you know that?
I’m sure you did.
Well, if you know that you’ve got to do what I do and what I teach my clients to do and that is to audit your circle.
Look around in your circle.
Who are you hanging around with the most?
Where are they going with their lives?
What type of energy do they carry?
If they’re the type of people that gossip a lot or that talk about other people a lot or that complain a lot well that seems to be going around and circling seven circles.
I promise you that if you continue to hang around with them you’re going to join them.
You’re going to chase each other in a circle.
You don’t want to do that.
You want to go in a straight line or rather you want to go in a trajectory that goes up.
Going higher and higher and higher in your life.
That means that you’ve got to really protect your energy.
This is the one occasion that you have the permission to be selfish now.
It doesn’t mean that you have to cut off your friends, it just means that you have to limit the amount of time that you spend with people, with the wrong type of energy.
#9: TREAT YOURSELF LIKE A VALUABLE INVESTMENT
Did you know that you are a masterpiece?
When you were created it was done, there is no copy of you.
Somebody out there cares about you a great deal.
So why is it that you don’t care about yourself?
You’ve got to treat yourself as a valuable investment.
There are people who care about other people more than they do about themselves.
I used to be that person.
I didn’t used to love myself.
I had a lot of hang-ups to be quite honest with you, now I am my own biggest fan.
I treat myself like a valuable investment because I understand that I am the hub of my life.
That means that if Pam is okay, if I am living my higher self and walking in my purpose then my children get to benefit, my marriage gets to benefit, my friendships get to benefit, my relationship gets to benefit, my clients get to benefit, but it all begins with me.
It all begins with being my higher self and treating myself like that valuable investment to which I am.
You’ve got to love yourself because if you can’t love yourself how will you be able to love other people?
Do you see what I’m trying to say?
You’ve got to really just take a moment and you know how a lot of people do a gratitude journal for things that they are grateful for…
…do a love journal, what are the things that you love about yourself?
Do that every single day until you are so madly in love with yourself that people think you are on your own high horse.
I couldn’t care less what people think because I know that they don’t know where I’m coming from.
They don’t know the Pam from way back when I didn’t think I was worth anything.
Right now I am my own biggest fan and I’m okay with tooting my own horn.
It’s not for other people’s ears, it’s for my own ears, it’s for me.
I love myself and I’m good with that.
It’s really not about being vain, it’s not about vanity, it’s not about having an ego, it’s just about treating yourself like the valuable investment that you are because you are the hub, you are the seed it is from you that everything is birth.
Your mindset is best when you treat yourself well.
You develop a healthier mindset.
You have a more successful business.
You have a better career.
You have a better relationship with your loved ones.
All of these things come because of your heart and that’s really what I’m gearing up to.
It is about looking after your heart.
NOW HOW DO YOU TREAT YOURSELF WELL?
Well, speak positive words over yourself.
That’s right, talk to yourself, remind yourself of who you are, look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of how beautiful you are ,not by the world standards but by your own standards, by god’s standards.
Remind yourself of how beautiful you are.
Treat yourself financially. We take out X amount of money to pay for taxes every single month without unfailing without even blinking because we know that we have to.
When was the last time you bought something for yourself?
When was it the last time you just did something because you wanted it?
Not because you needed it, not for anybody else but just for you.
Do you see what I’m trying to say?
That’s what I mean by treating yourself like the valuable investment that you are because when you do your joy multiplies.
When your joy multiplies it is infectious, it permeates through all the other areas of your life.
Your relationships, your business and all of those amazing things.
That was me on the high horse. I hope you got value from this.
That is truly what I want for you.
I want you to see my heart and I hope that you truly get value and that you use what I’ve shared with you.
Comment below and let me know which of these points stood out to you the most?
Which of them are you going to implement?
This is a matter of the heart.
This is the case for you to love yourself and to have this year be your best year.
Now which of these points are you going to take forward and actually begin to implement?